The Roach's Recovery
If you are pro-ana/mia/any disordered behavior - get the fuck off my blog before I chop you up and eat you for my recovery meals.
About Me · Write a Letter


Healthy, my heart rests at 71 now.

He got a job making $30 an hour. I baby sit for $600 a month.

Life is going places.

I keep gaining weight and I’m retaining IV fluid and I just want to die. I don’t even care about recovery. My jeans are tight and I just….I just can’t fucking do this.

TW NUMBER - I made that video at 93 pounds. I weigh 121 today. I am healthy and I am miserable. My once 10 pound, 20 pound binges…now they only consist of under 1000 calories. I want to disappear. I eat normally, I ate a cheeseburger with bacon and blue cheese and jalepenos and it was so good but so guilt inducing. Recovery when you aren’t ready is rough. And I spend every second trying to figure out how to find my disordered habits, even if I am guilty of chewing and spitting again. I need this, but I hate this.
He buys me whatever food I want. I wanted an omelette and I got that. It was loaded with cheese. I wanted another burger with cheddar and jalepenos and I got that. It was so good, not even greasy. I’m at war with myself and with the man I love.
The man who proposed and offered to take care of my divorce. The man my daughter calls ‘daddy’. I didnt even ask her, nor did he. She just loves him. I can’t even begin to understand what my life is doing.


i really like it when boys look nice in suits like wow a+ you can wear that to my bedroom

(via lifesabitchthenyouudie)

Munch munch
Ear surgery doooooone


Within the last couple days:

• Robin Willians died

• an innocent black teenager was shot to death

• a police officer at west lake mall maced a black man that just happened to walk by, then arrested him and refused him water

• policemen have been using brute force against…

If we do a real life purge IM OUT


"I’m worthless" You feel worthless. You feel like your life is pointless. You still matter
"I’m stupid" you’re too hard on yourself and you’re only paying attention to the things you’re bad at instead of what you’re good at
"I don’t deserve food" Do criminals in prison deserve food? You think you deserve less than that? What did you do that’s so awful? Nothing. You have made mistakes like everyone else. You deserve food. 
"It was my fault I was bullied/abused" you can’t force someone to abuse you. You can’t make someone hurt you. You can’t bring that on yourself. It is their choice to behave that way. Victim blaming isn’t ok, even when the victim is you.
QUESTION your mind. Question your thoughts
Away we gooooooo



I am the worst texter on the earth. I’ll reply back to your text a month later and pretend like it’s ok.

what is this “replying” you speak of?