The Roach's Recovery
If you are pro-ana/mia/any disordered behavior - get the fuck off my blog before I chop you up and eat you for my recovery meals.
About Me · Write a Letter

Me and jersey shore dude rock the same hair. CALL ME GUIDO IM A DOUCHE NOOOOOOOOW!


Yup okay gonna cry I miss my friends and my piece of shit excuse for a life and piece of shit half dead body like no nuh uh I’m out fuck letting it decide

Roachie is out for bug blood and god damn it she’s out for crushed bug bones.

And bring on the body checking fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu


I’ve come to the conclusion that the biggest part of my comfort (or whatever this “I won’t kill myself for my weight” thing is) with my gain has been lack of television in my life. We don’t have computers, wifi, a DVD player or even a VCR. I have no opportunity aside from our outings to compare my body to others. I watched mtv all day today and purged three times. It’s only noon. I can’t be “healthy” with a normal life. My friends from the bar all give me shit about it, even though I’m still underweight!

I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough.


The struggle is real today. I feel like I’m drowning. But if this got me through treatment twice, it can help me today. I am thankful my parents can see me in a bathing suit and not fear for my life anymore. I am thankful my body still functions after abusing it for so long. But still I am more than my physical being. I gained more than weight, I gained a life again and I will never let that go. I choose life, life, life. #edrecovery #recovery #ahfuck


slap my ass and buy me things


jiggle my butt and call me baby

Aw fuuuuuuu


Healthy, my heart rests at 71 now.

He got a job making $30 an hour. I baby sit for $600 a month.

Life is going places.

I keep gaining weight and I’m retaining IV fluid and I just want to die. I don’t even care about recovery. My jeans are tight and I just….I just can’t fucking do this.

TW NUMBER - I made that video at 93 pounds. I weigh 121 today. I am healthy and I am miserable. My once 10 pound, 20 pound binges…now they only consist of under 1000 calories. I want to disappear. I eat normally, I ate a cheeseburger with bacon and blue cheese and jalepenos and it was so good but so guilt inducing. Recovery when you aren’t ready is rough. And I spend every second trying to figure out how to find my disordered habits, even if I am guilty of chewing and spitting again. I need this, but I hate this.
He buys me whatever food I want. I wanted an omelette and I got that. It was loaded with cheese. I wanted another burger with cheddar and jalepenos and I got that. It was so good, not even greasy. I’m at war with myself and with the man I love.
The man who proposed and offered to take care of my divorce. The man my daughter calls ‘daddy’. I didnt even ask her, nor did he. She just loves him. I can’t even begin to understand what my life is doing.


i really like it when boys look nice in suits like wow a+ you can wear that to my bedroom

(via lifesabitchthenyouudie)

Munch munch
Ear surgery doooooone